I will not give come-on signals to others for sexual relations when I see that you feel threatened. I will count on you to recognize and admire me for my sexuality and attractiveness as a man or woman. I will respond with genuine reassurance when you feel fear of abandonment.

I will respect, accept and appreciate your saying NO. I understand that only by our mutual acceptance of NO will we both be able to say YES and mean it fully. Furthermore, I understand that by our acceptance of NO we enhance each other’s capacity to experience more fully our individuality and separateness within our relationship. While I accept our momentary human response of frustration with disappointment, I will not act rejected, will not sulk or continue to be hurt or angry; nor will I attempt to control your expression of your individuality in any way.

I will accept your bad feelings of anger, sadness, helplessness, and fear as well as your joy. I will listen to your expressions of frustration without taking your feelings as a personal attack and without trying to control your expressions of feeling in any way. We will have good quarrels in which we both win whenever I experience bad feelings that may interfere with our closeness and love. No matter how angry or upset I get, I will never threaten to or actually harm you physically; I will never threaten to or actually harm myself; I will never threaten to or actually abandon you, "drop out" or "go crazy".

While I will not accept responsibility for your feelings or behavior, I will accept my responsibility to myself for whatever I do with you. I will respond to you with reasonable consideration to cherish and invite you to feel protection from undue pain. I will never ridicule you, tease you or use vengefully what you have trusted me to know about you.

I will leave the past behind. While I will learn from the past, I will not live in it. I will henceforth resolve all bad feelings about our past mistakes and never bring them up to you. I will experience being with you NOW while sharing hopes, dreams and plans for the future.

Since I understand that we cannot be everything to each other, I will respect and value the importance of your having separate play and work activities with separate friends and co-workers. I will respect your confidences and never share with another those things that you share with me privately without obtaining your agreement in advance. I will keep this commitment even should we part.

I will place high priority on our fun together. I understand that for us to want to stay together and be free of boredom, we must share enthusiasm and responsiveness. While I accept my right to withdrawal time and separateness within our relationship and our home, I will not unexpectedly switch on you and withdraw following an explicit or implied promise to share myself with you. I will not take you for granted.

I will value and protect our sexual expression of sharing fun and love. I will not use sex to express anything but love. I will experience closeness and love with you as a person prior to sexual union. I will place high value on our sexual love, and will be open to you sexually. If at times I may not wish to be open, I will not pick a fight, but I will tell you clearly with kindness and consideration.

I will make time consistently available for BEING together for communication, work, fun and love. I will give our time the highest priority. Although my work and our children are important, you are more important; and what I give to myself WITH you is more important.

I will place the highest priority on my loyalty to you. It will be above any other commitments. No matter what demands or enticements confront me, monetary or otherwise, I will not change our location or residence without considering your feelings and ideas and without your full agreement. Nor do I commit myself just to follow wherever you go.

I will share in the parenting experience of providing care, authority and opportunity for our little ones to grow and achieve their own wishes, hopes and dreams. I will leave the question of future children open, and I will discuss and consider your feelings and ideas prior to making a mutually planned decision about children.

This is a living document; I will renegotiate all or any parts of this contract upon serious proposal from you. Lastly, I will commit myself to continuing the work and the acquisition of skill and wisdom involved in keeping our relationship exciting, dynamic and changing to accommodate our personal growth, changes and development throughout the years of our togetherness.